A Coward

This is how I feel.  Like a big coward.  I sense that God is moving us into a new season in our life and in our following Him.  I am experiencing a divine discontent.  I am tired of feeling like a failure.  Tired of feeling like we are having no impact.  Like we are even smaller than a drop in the bucket.  Tired of justifying a mediocre life with thoughts like, "Well, it's just hard here."  Or "Things just take a lot longer here."  Or the oft-quoted statistic that, "It takes Muslims an average of 6 to 7 years. . . "  I am sick and tired of settling for just what I can do (which I assure you, is not much).  I am longing to see what God can do.  But this is where the coward comes in.  I am scared to death of what He might require of me!  What it might cost me.  I am afraid of what people here think of me.  I actually don't know what I am afraid of.  But I am tired of feeling like the cowardly lion!  I have been so inspired by my friend Abbe, who has been so brave in moving forward with God's plan for her life in spite of so much.  Her family has experienced things that would shut most of us down  in the last year.  But she is moving forward, trusting God's good plan for her life, and taking risks.  She is dreaming!

I read on another blog this quote from Francis Chan's book Crazy Love, “God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through.”
I have been comfortable and I am tired of it.  I don't know what's coming, but I am actually excited.  For the first time in what feels like a long time, I am excited about what is coming.  Stay Tuned. . .