I've been looking at friends' blogs today and I'm feeling a bit old. I'm about to become a first time mother and I will turn 31 before that happens in Dec. So many of my friends have multiple children and they seem like seasoned old pro's at the whole mothering thing. Matt will be 36 by the time we have the baby and I'm trying to see the bright side of being "older parents". I guess one of the good things about becoming a mom older is that HOPEFULLY, I'm a little wiser for the extra years I've put on. (And speaking of putting on, I'm starting to put on the pounds!) I think for me, becoming a mom a little behind the average has made me take the enterprise of motherhood a bit more seriously. Or maybe it's my personality type, but I feel like the seriousness of motherhood is heavy on my mind. My sweet mother in law sent me a little book called "1001 Things it Means to Be a Mom". This is meant to be a fun, happy little book, but after only a few pages of little anecdotal mothering suggestions, I was in tears. Not laughing till I cried, more like overwhelmed till I cried. Maybe this has to do with the fact that I was helping to babysit four children earlier in the day and things did not go well. It started fine over lunch (in spite an outbreak of dipping bread into their lemonade), but it started to turn ugly while all four of them were in my backseat and we were stuck in traffic for about an hour. . . how many times can we play the quite game? So as I was trying to tolerate the circus act in the back seat, all I wanted to do was knock their heads together like a couple of coconuts and tell them to shut up. And these are good kids. Kids I usually like, who are usually well-behaved! So what kind of mother will I be?
Number 18 in the book was: "Being a mom means sometimes not telling your child what you really think of them." At least as I've gotten a little older I've learned (mostly from my incredibly diplomatic husband) how to say less and listen a little more, and how to tone down my initial reactions (that are usually off the charts opinionated). Maybe it's not so bad to be an older mom. I'm taking this job VERY seriously, I'm a little wiser than I used to be and hopefully A LOT more flexible (living on this side of the pond has helped form that in me, as well as multiple re-locations and re-starts over the last 2 years). So, to all of you young moms, who are light years ahead of me and popping out number 3, anything you've learned that I need to know? And to you fabulous mom's who have survived the marathon of the first 18 or so years of motherhood, what do I need to learn from you? And from those in the same boat, getting a slightly later start at this race, what have you loved/hated about being an "older" mom? I will add them to my little book of 1001 mom things . . .
oh my dear.....I have often thought that the only way that I survived being a mother was because I did not take myself too seriously and I now think that it might be the best advice yet.
ReplyDeleteI don't mean don't take being a mother seriously. The world is too full of mom's who don't take the awesome privilege and responsibility seriously enough.
Don't ever devalue it. Some of us who grew up in the early days of women's lib were led to believe that somehow it was not as important a job as some and I am so thankful that I was able to have being a wife and mom as my full time job.
I have also said many times that you kids turned out wonderfully in spite of Dad and I...and I mean it. The Lord had His hand on every one of you and He still does. As parents we can only do so much and it is never perfect, it is never enough.
Do your best and leave the rest up to Him. Don't take yourself too seriously because you need to be able to laugh at yourself and realize that in spite of your many failures and mistakes, your little ones will turn out just fine. They are resilient beyond belief. They will grow up well in spite of you!
You are so prepared and wise. When I had Jason, I knew nothing. nothing I tell ya! And when you came along, you were so different from him, I felt like I still knew nothing! God takes our feeble attempts and works a miracle by letting babies survive and even thrive!
I have confidence in you both and I cant wait to see who God is sending our way.
I am so proud of you and Matt. I love you and miss you more than words can say . When that baby gets here plan to have him/her spoiled beyond hope .
Until we can really hug,....love, mom
You, my dear SIL will be such a naturally wonderful mother. Who in the world could be better prepared?! And the best part of all...you already know you can't do it in your own strength.
ReplyDeletein the mean time i will lovingly refer to the baby as.....spud. after that, i suggest you name it after me. :)
ReplyDeletei love you girls! You are all so sweet to comment! I'm really enjoying this blog-thing! Who knew?
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